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The tyrant within
Process groups are hard. If you’ve never attended one (and they are a counsellor-y thing to attend!), they are, in effect, a group of...
Here are my reflections on life and living. I won't tell you what you should do or think. I'll just tell you what I'm learning and what I'm struggling with. Because learning is power and the unspoken is usually what tangles us up.
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- May 4
Ukraine
Merely the word evokes so much feeling: terror and pride; grief, horror and floundering confusion; compassion, camaraderie as well as a...
- Mar 16
Searching for meaning?
It seems to me that the more we search for the meaning of our lives, the more it proves both necessary and yet elusive. The pain of this...
- Mar 9
Finding Our Meaning Again
Life is full of meaning and emptiness. Acknowledging this paradox of the human experience and our experiences of it is necessary for...
- Mar 2
Empty and full: living with the human condition
‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.’ (Ecclesiastes, 1:1) Another rendering is...
- Feb 16
Depth perception
We’re used to seeing in 2D. Social media, TV, newspapers (if anyone still reads them) crush humans onto a 2-D medium. And often not...
- Feb 9
Learning to be trustworthy III: learning to still hope
Can I trust you? This strikes at the heart of encounters. ‘Can I trust what you say? That you won’t let me down? That you care? Do I need...
- Feb 2
Learning to be trustworthy II: learning to be reliable and competent
Trustworthiness is perhaps the most crucial characteristics for being a therapist¹. Trust is perhaps the most crucial characteristic for...
- Jan 27
Learning to be trustworthy I: Learning to be honest
I don’t trust you. You can’t be trusted. Such accusations hit us hard. They strike right at our sense of who we are. We often react with...
- Jan 19
Doing Me
This week I was sharing with a colleague a struggle I was having at work. They’re not a therapist, but their response was as good as it...
- Jan 13
Wondering about dreams: finding clarity in the murkiness
Dreams can feel rather mystical. What do they mean? Are they trying to tell us something? What’s it saying about me? If we come from a...
- Jan 6
Just One Thing: A New Year's Demand
It’s the New Year! And I wish I had some resolutions I could believe in. Believe that I could, with some renewed determination that...
- Dec 16, 2021
How to deal with Christmas stress
Brené Brown has an insightful definition of stress The Atlas of the Heart: We feel stressed when we evaluate environmental demand as...
- Dec 9, 2021
Ordinary Tea. Ordinary lives.
I would quite like a teapot at the moment. Not a big one; ideally, just big enough for two average-sized mugs. I have an image in mind,...
- Dec 2, 2021
The tyranny of happiness: why positive psychology needs to see its shadow
We had a staff training day a while back. It was about happiness. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it? I was excited about a day purely focussed on...
- Nov 24, 2021
Is religion good for your mental health?
I remember sitting on my bed one evening. I’m 11, looking up at the stars: ashamed, alone, unable to talk to anyone about it. You see, I...
- Nov 18, 2021
Being "spiritual" - what does it mean?
In my lifetime, being ‘spiritual’ - as with many previous taboos - has become acceptable, endorsed, validated, even fashionable. I find...
- Nov 11, 2021
How to find a counsellor you can trust.
I hate finding a car mechanic. I know next to nothing about cars. I often feel like the people I speak to think I know more than I do. So...
- Nov 4, 2021
Disappointment
My heart sinks. I had hoped. I had made tentative steps. And then the door slams in my face. The path gives way before me. Was I a fool...
- Oct 28, 2021
The healing encounter
Some meetings feel different. They have a quality about them that touches us, renews us. They seem to heal or bind up something within....